For the people who read my blog every day, please bear with me. I need to get this off of my chest and I decided to do it here. I always feel better when I write things down. You all are just lucky enough to get in my head for a minute and hear my thoughts......
Dear Little Brother,
I have been wanting to write to you about how I have been feeling the last few weeks. The big reason why I haven't is because it would break my heart for you to read how I feel and for you to look at me and not care. I think that you know that my heart is constantly aching for you. I know that you are lost in a world that I don't know and I don't know how to get you out. I am truly afraid for your life. I find myself praying for you at different times of the day. I wonder if you are home, who you are with, will you survive the night? I am constantly giving my worries over to God but I find that I keep taking them back from Him. I know that what I need to do is give it all to Him and not worry. I should trust God's plan for your life, whether it is to recover or to die using.
You will always be my brother but recently you also became one of my best friends. I was very happy to see your name on my caller id or to hear "Long Black Train" coming through my cell phone. We talked about your life and what it was like when you were using. We talked about the things that you have done and most important we talked about the promise of a future that was drug free. A really great future!
I can remember sitting beside you at numerous NA meetings and I would listen to the conviction in your voice. I sat beside you at church and cried with you. Now I sit in church beside someone that I don't even know. I sit and I cry because I miss you and because I know that you are slowly committing suicide. I cry because every time that I see you, I'm afraid that it will be the last. I know that if you don't stop, you will die. That breaks my heart because you have a choice. I don't know what if feels like to be an addict and to have cravings but I do know what it feels like to bury someone that I love. I don't want to do that again.
So, what I am going to do is give all of my worries to God and I have to trust in Him and what He has planned for you. My prayer for you, little brother, is that God will open your eyes and your heart.
"They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and He rescued them! He led them from their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains." Psalm 107:13-14
Danyka Nicolas
3 years ago
20 comments:
Talk about making someone cry! I totally feel the same way. I think that you nailed it with your words. All those feelings are so strong! He WILL get through this with all of our prayers and support! We just need to quit putting out all of his "smoke signals"! Let God do the dirty work! I love you!
This is my first time reading your blog, but my heart aches for you. I will definitely pray for you and your brother and whatever the situation is.
God is Great, remember that (although I know you do.)
hey! i can on imagine how it must be to worry about a younger sibling...i have two sisters, and i can only imagine being worried about their well-being. keep hanging onto and being honest with Him and yourself.
and something i've been having to tell myself lately is, even though i think there's no way i can survive the latest crisis, i have always found a way through the others, and this one will prove to be no different. there is a way, in Him, and with His help i will find it!
praying for you, my dear sister!
In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
Psalm 18:6
Psalm 121:1,2I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
Okay - so you can't see mountains in Beaufort... But you can look to the mighty waters and know the strength of our God! You can look at the Hunting Island Lighthouse and know He is the light through the darkness....
Praying right now for your precious brother to see that light.
I have a little brother too, and no matter how old he gets, I will never lose that feeling of protectiveness. He is so blessed to have you in his life, praying for him.
And I'm praying for you, and him, that he will find his way out of this wilderness, with God's help, and your relationship will be healed.
Grace and peace--
Dear Lori, please that I am beside you praying with you for God open your brothers heart and eyes to see. And I pray for your strength and peace, a peace that surpasses all human understand and that only can come from the throne of Grace.
Lori,
I will be praying for your brother. I know how difficult it is to love someone who is in that situation. There is a great pain and, of course, the fear. I pray the Lord will cure him of his need for the drugs.
God Bless.
Sara
Psalm 25:1&2 Unto Thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in Thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over (him) me. . .
Praying for victory for your brother . . . Praying for you - Aimee
Oh, MAN. The tears are close on this one as I read. I have a little brother too...and ache for him. I know that happy feeling when his voice is on the other end of the line. Now just to pull him in....
We can...if we stay on our knees.
Let's take Him at His Word:
"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." ~Mt 21:22
From one big sister to another...
Know you and little bro are being prayed for tonight....
Ann V. HolyExperience
Lori, I can share your burden. I went through this with my oldest daughter. All our church and most of the family was praying for her. God turned her life around and now she's in college studying to be a nurse.
He will answer your prayers too.
"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." Psm. 94:19
'Fear not I am with thee,
Oh be not deismayed
I, I am thy God and will still give thee aid:
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of grief shall not thee overflow,
For I will be with thee in trouble to bless, And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
From 'How firm a foundation',
Keep praying and know that you are prayed for. He is the one who truly loves the unlovely and can save to the uttermost.
Your brother is so blessed to have a sister praying for him. My prayer is that you will know the peace that comes only from trusting the Lord's authority over all the earth. That He will give you strength and will use you to help direct your brother to Himself.
I can feel your pain. My younger brother is also a drug-addict and there were many years of fear and agony. He is now in recovery, and God has called him to Himself. Praise the Lord! He still struggles at times, feeling the call of that dark life, feeling tempted to go back to what he knows so well, but God is faithful and gives him strength and courage to resist the lies of the enemy and to walk in the light of Christ.
My prayers are with you, and your brother. May you know the peace that can only come from God when you fully trust in Him as your deliverer.
I am praying with you! Your brother is very blessed to have you praying for him and loving him so much!!! I know, in my own life, that if it were not for the prayers of my grandmother there is no telling where my brothers and I might be right now. God hears you and loves you and him so much. Hold on to the Father and know that He hears and will answer your prayers for your beloved brother.
Please know that I prayed for your brother and your family. I have a 19 yo brother who is saturating his mind with porn. (He even had a calendar on the dash of his car...) I can totally relate to the feelings you are having in just wanting the best for your little brother. It is so hard to watch people you love struggle and make bad choices. I try to remember that God is allowing this to happen for a reason and that great things can happen from great suffering. Keep your spirits up and your face to the floor (in prayer). Big sisters unite!!!
I am amazed and taken back by the outporing of prayer for our little brother. It is like there are tons of little praying angels wanting the same thing we do! He is going to get through this, I have known this all along but now I am truly convinced! Thank you to everyone who has prayed for our little brother. With so many people joining together to "wrap" him in prayer...you just wait! He WILL do amazing things! He will look back on this someday and have an awesome testimony!
Remember...He is faithful!
Mark 11:22-24
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Ohhh, my heart goes out to you. If only your brother knew the compassion of your heart to bring you to your knees for his soul. Remember, God loves him even more than you. His ways may not be our ways. I will pray with you for him, and for you too.
Lori,
I truly understand where you are at. My sister and brother-in-law have been in and out of that lifestyle. They are doing very well, and I'm trying to trust God that it is for good now. I know what it's like to worry about their life, their children. I've been in the position before where I had to keep my own children away from them. So, I know the hurt.
God has heard your prayers and the prayers of your family. He will work in his time. And remember that he loves your brother even more than you do!
Know that you have been added to my prayer list. I'll be praying for you to have the strength to go through this season. I'll be praying that your brothers eyes will be opened and he will to turn our ever merciful and forgiving God. I'll be praying for the rest of your family as well, as I know this takes a toll on all who love your brother.
I am one who believed for over 20 years for the salvation of my brother. God is faithful. He gave his heart to the Lord 2 years ago. I pray that you experience that someday soon.
I really feel like "our" Bernie will be back with us before we know it. I know in my heart that he has the courage and the strength to beat this ugly "thing." He is truly an amazing man! That's why I fell in love with him. He has a very BIG and special place in my heart. He CAN and he WILL defeat the battle! I too will continue to pray for him and love him unconditionally. Always. Love to you and your family!
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