Mason starts his new four year old class tomorrow at preschool. He is really nervous about it even though a few of his classmates will be moving up with him. He has asked me many questions today about it. "Will the teacher put me in timeout?" "Will we still say the same prayer before we eat?" "Do they even eat there?" He is really worried about it even though he is only moving to the room next door.
I am realizing, as Mason gets older, that it is really hard to let go of him. I want to go into his new class and sit beside him all day to make sure that he is okay. I don't want him to cry and be scared. But I know that he has to be brave and go alone into that big new room with new kids and a new teacher. He has to learn to adapt and he has to learn how to be an even bigger boy.
No matter how old Mason ever is, I will never want to let him go out into the big bad world on his own. No, I'm not going to be a stalking mother who is on Dr. Phil in 20 years but I know that as he gets older that letting him go will get harder and harder.
I have been sitting here praying for my mom tonight because I know that she still struggles every day with the trials of being a mother. I can look at her and see it all over her face. She is struggling with the decision to take off the training wheels or to leave them on, in a matter of speaking. If she takes off the training wheels, there will be skinned knees and he will fall off the bicycle over and over again. But if she leaves them on, won't he fall anyway? I think that he is riding around with one wheel off. He is waiting around until she loosens the other one. She has been running behind that bike for a long time, holding him up but one day she has to let him go on his own and he has to learn to ride. Will he fall? Probably. But I know in my heart that he will have the hands of God to fall into and I also know in the deepest part of my soul that God will heal his scraped knees..... In a matter of speaking.
I am realizing, as Mason gets older, that it is really hard to let go of him. I want to go into his new class and sit beside him all day to make sure that he is okay. I don't want him to cry and be scared. But I know that he has to be brave and go alone into that big new room with new kids and a new teacher. He has to learn to adapt and he has to learn how to be an even bigger boy.
No matter how old Mason ever is, I will never want to let him go out into the big bad world on his own. No, I'm not going to be a stalking mother who is on Dr. Phil in 20 years but I know that as he gets older that letting him go will get harder and harder.
I have been sitting here praying for my mom tonight because I know that she still struggles every day with the trials of being a mother. I can look at her and see it all over her face. She is struggling with the decision to take off the training wheels or to leave them on, in a matter of speaking. If she takes off the training wheels, there will be skinned knees and he will fall off the bicycle over and over again. But if she leaves them on, won't he fall anyway? I think that he is riding around with one wheel off. He is waiting around until she loosens the other one. She has been running behind that bike for a long time, holding him up but one day she has to let him go on his own and he has to learn to ride. Will he fall? Probably. But I know in my heart that he will have the hands of God to fall into and I also know in the deepest part of my soul that God will heal his scraped knees..... In a matter of speaking.
3 comments:
It's so hard, you just can't imagine. Does God want me to let go? Is that what I am supposed to do? I'm his mother, am I not supposed to help him if I can? Does he want me to let go? I ask myself these questions over and over again. I think he must be just as afraid as I am. I have been reading about Job and the torment God put him through, and how he kept the faith that God was going to deliver him from his suffering. Am I supposed to be like Job? Don't stop praying for me and your little brother. It's not always easy to see God's will when your heart is attached to your child. I just pray that you never have to deal with these training wheels. I love you.
Great Post Lo-Lo!
Man, you make me wanna cry! Girl, I feel just like you. I don't want Noah out of my sight. I think the first day of Pre-K was harder for me than it was for him and the same with daycare. I wanted to stay all day. And then I wanted to stand outside the window and look in on him. But at some point you do have to let go. As hard as it may be, we all have to do it. And as for your mom, my heart aches for her because I can only imagine what she must go through. I know what I go through but it's totally different. Totally! I hope that we never have to endure what she has and still is. I love all of you! I will always be here for ya'll. Anytime! You can count on that! Love ya!
Post a Comment